Well, I wouldn’t know, I missed the Winter Olympics in Torino. Dispite the endless Google Logo changes celebrating the event.

I missed all the XGames
I missed all the hapless snow insanity.
I missed the figure skating scandal.

Wait, what do you mean there is no figure skaiting scandal?

There ALWAYS has to be a Figure Skating Scandal, how else does NBC get people to watch their programming at unholy hours of the morning?

But I will always remember the first one…

You see, it was the start of my alter ego.

A few of my regular readers may remember my early-internet alter ego “Carlos”. Well, it all started in the Winter Olympics of 1994.
I commemorated the event on “his” weblog back in 2002. (During another so-called-scandal)

I’ll reprint it here. [Originally written in the third-person, edited to be read in the first person]

Carlosian Figure Skating
February 17, 2002
It interesting, [I'm] not a big fan of figure skating, nor [am I] a big fan of the Olympics, nor [do I] have any real opinion of the latest Figure Skating Scandal. However, “Carlos” is closely attached to the world of Figure Skating for one very important reason. [Carlos was invented] from a previous unattractive event…

The Story So Far:

January 6, 1994: Nancy Kerrigan is clubbed on the right knee after leaving the Olympic Trials.

By the time this got to [me], [the] Carlos character was just a dream in [my] mind’s eye. It was not really thought out.

However, the story goes like this, as [I] asked [myself] some questions:

• Who could have done this?
• Will we ever know who did this?
• Whoever did this, he’s a real sneaky bastard.
• I betcha we will never find out who did it.
• I bet his name is Carlos.

Granted, it was a few weeks later that we found out that Jeff Gillooly was the one who actually did the clubbing and that Tonya Harding had some doings with the plan.

But it was too late, Carlos was created.

The story did not stop there.

With this new character, [I] created [the] mystique.

Carlos had to be a professional, and expert in his field. He had to not only be an assasin, but he had also be a terrorist. Not just a domestic terrorist, but of international fame as well.

He also had to be secretive, stealthy, private. He needed to be able to move without detection in the most secure areas. No a master of disguise, but rather a master of blending in.

He also needed a sordid history, he needed some Big Name assasinations.

[So I] started to theorize, who else could this Carlos could have killed?

• JFK?
• RFK?
• MLK Jr.?
• the Munich Olympics?

Those would be a good foundation, but “Carlos” would need some modern contracts with big time evil people.

• Muammar Qadhafi
• Saddam Hussain
• Fidel Castro
• Manuel Noriega
• Yasser Arafat and the PLO?

So it was decided. Carlos had access to all these people, and was present at all the above events. Carlos was a super terrorist, and he clubbed Nancy Kerrigan as well.

Of course, this was all a joke, the joke, however was on [me], as [I] just did not know how right [I] was.

October 10, 1994 Ilich Ramirez Sanchez, a.k.a. Carlos, The Jackal is captured in the Sudan

Here are a few excepts on the subject:

“Carlos” is one of the best known “revolutionary terrorists” known in the history of modern insurgent movements. He reportedly has worked for Mohamar Qaddaffi of Libya, Saddam Hussien of Iraq, President Assad of Syria, Fidel Castro of Cuba, George Habash and the Popular Front for the Liberation of Palestine (PFLP), the Italian Red Brigade, Columbia’s M-19 Movement, the Baader-Meinholf Gang, and any number of other “Communist and Socialist” employers. His resume’ is almost unparalleled in the exploits of terrorists of the last three decades. According to anti-terrorist analysts, the only international terrorist of greater repute is probably Abu Nidal(Sabri Banna).

and

Although some intelligence reports link “Carlos” to the 1972 Massacre of eleven (11) Israeli athletes in Germany, most counter- terrorist analysts suspect that the Olympic massacre was master-minded by the Black September organization and Abu Nidal.

When [I] learned this, [I] froze. This was not right. [I] made this to be a joke, and it REALLY HAPPENED.

However, the “real” Carlos was now in Jail, in France. And somehow, [I had] some irrational sense of responsibility for it.

And it all started by a figure skating scandal.

That was well over 12 years ago. Wow did I have an imagination right out of high school.

So when I first ventured onto the Internet back in 1994, no one used their real names ANYWHERE, so what name did I choose.
That’s right.

Carlos.

If I did the same thing today, I’d choose Wedge, instead.

Cause, You Can’t Beat Wedge!
Or Barry.
Yeah, Barry would be cool.