A Real American Hero
Today is Nostalgia day at Jeremy-Gilby-dot-com, and to celebrate, The Editors of Jeremy-Gilby-dot-com present you with the following Link:
Yo-Joe-dot-com
Dedicated to G.I. Joe of the 1980s, 1990s, and beyond – G.I. Joe: A Real American Hero!
Man, how I miss G.I. Joe.
I could play with those action figures for hours. HOURS!
How come today’s toys are not as cool as G.I. Joe? I mean, there was a whole plotline, and story detail to each character. (Thanks to the Comic Books, and later on the TV Show) Now-a-days, kids toys suck. I’m completely Uninterested in them. But G.I. Joe, they still rule! (Well, not the modern ones, the older ones I grew up with still do.)
Anyways, like everyone my age, I have a favorite G.I. Joe, her name was CoverGirl, driver of the mighty-mighty Wolverine. (And no, I never did acquire this precious collectable) *sniff*
To top it all off, The Geniuses at Homestar-Runner-dot-com released their third in the series of their Cheat Commandos Series today. (funny stuff)
So, I got to wondering, what would my G.I. Joe character be?
I wouldn’t be a tough, gun-toting type, I’d be more of a specialist. Geeky Specialist. Like in Computers, or something unmilitary like. (Anti-Terrorist Units need Cyber-Warefare Specialists, right?)
So I put together a picture, using HeroMachine.
Note the features of the G.I. Joe, CyberWarfare Expert, Codename: GLITCH:
- Black Trenchcoat, part of the figure
- Sunglasses, no helmet
- Mouthpeice Headset
- Black dufflebag, (Full of Geeky gear he carries around)
- Handgun (cause every G.I. Joe needs a gun, when the badguys show up!)
- And some Geeky peice of heavy equipment for those really big techno-clandestine jobs.
Filecard might look like:
| CYBER-WARFARE Codename: GLITCH  File Name: Gilby, Jeremy R. S/N: 3442-345-2943Primary Military Specialty: Cyber Warfare Secondary Military Specialty: Anti-Cyber-Terrorism Birthplace: Lansdale, Pennsylvania Grade: E-4 (Specialist) With the advance of cyber-terrorism and terrorist hacking, phreaking and cracking on websites all around the World Wide Web, the U.S. Government started investing resources in anti-cyber-terrorism and recruiting our best geeks, even the questionable ones. Glitch was found through the F.B.I. Archives after some of his not-so-successful attempts at subcontracting government-broadband access to the Arizona suburbs. Once G.I. Joe saw what he was capable of, they quickly offered him a job. At 6’4″, the uncoordinated Glitch is much better at Video Game Basketball than real life basketball. |
Is that cool or what?
Update It seems that the mighty-mighty GI JOE “Glitch” could be up against some mighty mighty foes in the Commissar’s “Justice League“
Grade E-4?
That’s a corporal and requires no educational background, just time-in-grade, creased pants, and shiny boots and brass. A specialist would be a Spec-4, but still a grunt taking orders.
Col. Moammar Gadhafi knew to do better than that.
Glitch is at least a Major working on Colonel Major.
Comment by Dad — September 28, 2004 @ 4:12:09 PM
Dad,
I thought Sergeant would be too “haughty”.
Most of the Joes were Enlisted grunts, (Sergents and Corporals) and few officer types.
I figure, that Glitch, with no military background, or training, would have to live with a Corporal Specialist Non-commissioned rank.
Comment by Jeremy — September 28, 2004 @ 4:22:30 PM
If you’re looking for enlisted, Sergent Major (E-8) has as much or more actual power as a Captain and is responsible for getting the work done.
Sergent Major sounds cool as well.
Comment by Dad — September 28, 2004 @ 6:14:37 PM
Next episode, Glitch! Next episode!!!
Corporal Captain Stinkin’ Rick
Comment by Stinkin' Rick — September 29, 2004 @ 9:20:08 AM
Okay Stinkin’ Rick, you asked for it!
Codename: STINKIN’ RICK
Primary Military Specialty: Bicycle Marathoning
Secondary Military Specialty: Hammer-Time
Birthplace: Classified Grade: Corporal Captain
It seems that Cobra has de-evovled from their technical mastery and have given up
their quest in the technology race with G.I. Joe. This has given Cobra the terrible
advantage as now Joe Equipment is too advanced to engage at Cobra’s level of tech.
Introduce, Stinkin’ Rick, who now can use “Pedal Power” to engage Cobra on their own
level.
To Quote General Hawk: I rue the day that I realized my only option to engage Cobra
is Stinkin’ Rick, on a bicycle, armed with a pole and a shield, saying, ‘I’ll bust
em up with my shield!’ I rue the day.”
Comment by Jeremy — September 29, 2004 @ 12:26:50 PM
Uh-huh, give me an E-3 and yourself an E-4…..
Comment by Rae — December 22, 2004 @ 12:19:47 PM
Rae,
WHAT?
Last time I checked, your card said E-4.
CoverGirl is an E-4.
Are you better than Covergirl?
Comment by Jeremy — December 22, 2004 @ 12:28:37 PM
[...] HeroMachine (something I talked about here and here) its an application that uses various predesigned templates at the user’s [...]
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